


how 2,007 days turn into 347.

by ew_heon



Category: EXO (Band), Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bottom Byun Baekhyun, Fluff, Heartbreak, M/M, Smut, Stripper, Top Park Chanyeol, Uhm, chanyeol is a sappy romantic puppy, heartless baekhyun, i guess?, i really don’t know what else to tag, jiho is an asshole, lets just get on with the story, mentions of abuse, namjoon jackson and jihoon are so very minor i’m sorry :(, nurse chanyeol, strip club
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-20 11:24:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13716687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ew_heon/pseuds/ew_heon
Summary: where baekhyun is a heartless stripper that no longer believes in fate, love, or destiny, none of that shit, but chanyeol is the lovestruck idiot who follows him like a puppy.





	how 2,007 days turn into 347.

**Author's Note:**

> this is in all lowercase because i love that format lmao fight me !!
> 
> i enjoy finding songs that remind me of a fic i’ve written/am writing, so i made two playlists on soundcloud for this fic! the first playlist is for the first half of the fic, called “h2007dti347 pt. 1”, and the second one is “h2007dti347 pt. 2” for the second half of the fic (i will indicate when to switch playlists, or if you’re listening to your own music, then pay attention to that to know when to change your music mood!) i hope you enjoy them !!
> 
> i hope you all like this fic !! i personally loved writing it ahaha

**july 9th, 11pm.**

black and white.

that’s all baekhyun really saw anymore, despite the purple hues that shadowed his thighs, despite the neon roses that lit up the walls of the club. as his tongue slid across the back of his own teeth, his eyes scanned the packed club emptily, finding not one soul that caught his heart, not one pair of sparkling eyes that made his moves stutter. but he wasn’t surprised, so he let his fingers trace the pole and focused in his attention on that instead.

he hadn’t found one person that struck his fantasy as he had 5 years ago, not one person in any audience since then made his skin prickle or his grip tighten.

some nights he doubted that he’d even felt that way at the time.

with one last smirk, hit of his hips to the beat, and lip bite, he made his way off the stage and behind the curtain. on instinct, he sat on the steps backstage and pulled off his heels, those damn painful stilettos that he still hadn’t grown accustomed to after 7 years of this damn job. no matter where he worked, no matter what club he switched to, they always required that his sneakers and ego be left at the door.

he used two fingers to hook into the shoes, carrying them as if they weighed him down, which, they kind of did. he headed into his dressing room down the hall, one that he shared with minhyuk, a headache with silver hair.

baekhyun shut the door soundly behind him before changing out of the skimpy, sad excuse for an outfit, and into his street wear. he hung up the clothes on the rack next to his vanity, sitting down at it and grabbing his phone that was charging.

he only managed to swipe the screen before minhyuk was bubbling in.

“baek-hyung!” he giggled happily, and baekhyun glanced over his shoulder with a hint of a grin. minhyuk stood, cheeks the same shade of the rose signs in the club, his silver bunny outfit just barely covering any bit of him. baekhyun stifled a giggle, thinking to himself, _as if the kid had much to cover anyway._

he turned back to his mirror, crossing his legs and shutting off his phone. “what is it, minhyuk?” he mused, pleased when he found one last cigarette standing in the box on the corner of his vanity, and lit it between his lips.

“jiho-hyung gave me four free shots! and and and! he made that fruity drink! y’know which one? the watermelon thing? my favorite!” he went on like a bird chirping, pleased, bright. baekhyun huffed, cigarette smoke clouding up his mirror. “he gave it to me for free! said i did so good tonight that i deserved it.”

“fucking jiho,” baekhyun muttered, getting up from his seat, leaving the cigarette, still smoldering, balancing in an ash tray. he’d be back soon. right after he beat that stupid bartender’s ass. “did i or did i not tell him to stop getting him drunk?”

“did you say something,” minhyuk hiccuped behind him, “baekhyunnie-hyung?”

baekhyun crossed over to the boy, cooing gently, “no, baby, here.” his hands made their way to minhyuk’s hips, guiding him to his vanity and sitting him down on minhyuk’s prized white fur stool. he pulled his own hoodie off, leaving himself in a plain t-shirt, and helped minhyuk into it to cover him up. the boy did so obediently, staring up at baekhyun afterwards with puppy dog eyes and jutted out lips. baekhyun cupped his jaw, brushed his thumb across his cheek, and told him, “you stay here, and don’t you let anyone in, okay?” when minhyuk gave a nod, baekhyun grinned and returned his hand to his side, making his way from the room.

minhyuk was only a year younger than baekhyun, but he had only picked up stripping two years before, so baekhyun saw to it to protect him with his life. he was still so innocent, honestly, and it broke his heart that he had to watch minhyuk ruin himself in such a profession. he tried to push that inevitable future back as far as possible, but it will forever remain inevitable, and eventually he’d end up like baekhyun.

baekhyun found jiho flirting with a variety of men as he cleaned glasses and mixed cocktails, moving from one side of the bar to the next so each man was alluded that he was talking exclusively to them. he let himself behind the bar, swerving around other bartenders until he came to his target, grabbing his wrist to twist his attention around. jiho’s confused eyes fell on baekhyun, where they lightened up and he smiled, “i’m sorry, doll, you’re not allowed back here. but if you sit right there—“ he gestured to an empty stool not too far away, “—i’ll come and bring you a diva daiquiri.” he paused, and then quickly pinned on, “but you gotta pay for it. maybe you can find some money in that thong of yours.”

baekhyun about rung him out right there.

“you think you’re wise?” baekhyun snapped, grabbing his collar. jiho only smirked. “i’ll beat you to a pulp, i swear on it.”

“i would hold you to that, but the boss already yelled at me for hitting you once, sweetheart.”

without thinking twice, let alone once, baekhyun slapped him, slapped him so hard the sound caused a few people to turn and stare, so hard that his head now faced the wall of liquor instead of baekhyun. the stripper watched as his lip pulled up in a shaky snarl. “i only came to tell you to stop getting minhyuk drunk off his ass because you want to fuck him. drug someone else and force them on your cock. i don’t care. that boy doesn’t deserve either your shit eating smirk or your 2 inch dick.”

as baekhyun was making his way away from him, he caught the eye of a particular google eyed boy and threw him a smile, leaning over the counter and picking up his drink. he swung it back and let the flavors of rum and sugar meet on his tongue, before putting it back down in front of the boy. he just stared on. “much love, babe,” he purred, lips finding the boy’s jaw before he sauntered off, leaving to join minhyuk back in the dressing room.

that boy was a dark haired, bright eyed chanyeol.

———

**july 9th, 10pm.**

chanyeol had gone to the club with a few of his university friends as a way to rekindle their friendship, since they’d graduated a bit back and hadn’t seen each other since. he shouldn’t have expected much but a gay club, since not only himself, but namjoon and jihoon, were gay (although, namjoon was bi, but that was a small detail—one that he had to ensure everyone was aware of). jackson wasn’t, but damn, the boy loved the attention he got when he went to gay clubs.

so, they went out, and jihoon went on about this cool club he had found—‘the rose garden’. it had rose decor everywhere, neon signs, fake flowers on tables, even the drinks had a rose theme to them. it was cute. the club, itself, was part strip club, part night club, only separated by a bar which split them down the middle. it was a bar with counters on either side of an island of booze, one side serving patrons who wanted to do their own dancing while the other paid mind to those who wanted to watch as others did it for them.

halfway through the night, chanyeol found himself on the strip club side.

he wasn’t sure why he had stumbled over, but to this day, he mainly dubbed it on curiosity.

he had sat amongst some older men, some the same age as him, and a few very excited and very intoxicated women to watch, a drink called ‘gypsy rose lee’ in hand. he sat through one performance by a boy no older than 25, his hair pale purple with glitter dust speckled throughout. chanyeol thought he was beautiful, especially when his lips upturned in a smile as praise showered at him.

but if he was beautiful, then the boy after him was a greek god.

he couldn’t have been very tall, but his high heels really made it hard for chanyeol to judge much. his hair was soft, not very styled, and his skin just as much. his eyes were sultry, darkened in amber eyeshadow, lips only ever turning up in a smirk once every few turns. he rocked his hips with such ease, guided his hands down his body with such precision, chanyeol thought he’d fallen in love. or maybe his dick did.

what did he know? he was already buzzed, and quickly becoming drunk as the boy moved farther downstage.

teeth bitten lips curled back to reveal a smile as he earned calls and hollers at his recent move, and chanyeol was shocked to find his voice amongst those shouts. he immediately took a sip of his drink in a feeble attempt to both shut himself up and quench his _obvious_ thirst.

when the boy finally left the stage, chanyeol bit the inside of his cheek.

he wanted him to come back.

so he found himself sitting there through the next couple performances, until he grew bored and to the realization that the boy wasn’t making a return. he made his way to the bar, slotting himself into an empty seat, and the handsome bartender brought him another one of those ‘gypsy rose lee’s.

he hadn’t been sitting there for long when a commotion caught his eye, and when he bothered to glance up, there was the boy. except, now he wore a white shirt with something in english patterned across the front, tucked lazily into black jeans. in his hand was the collar of one of the bartenders, and he spat in the man’s face, eyebrows drawn together in anger. chanyeol set down his drink and watched.

he watched as the man smirked something back, watched as the boy slapped him so hard that chanyeol was sure the bartender’s ears were ringing.

he didn’t take his eyes off the boy as he began his walk away, but then stopped when he stood just about a meter from chanyeol’s seat. he turned, caught his eye, and chanyeol froze up. all he could do was stare as the stripper leant over the counter, stole chanyeol’s drink, and took a big sip of it. as he set it down, chanyeol took great notice to the way his tongue slid over his bottom lip, and stared at those lips as they said to him, “much love, babe.” he blinked up and met eyes with the boy again, just before he bent forward and pressed his lips against the skin of chanyeol’s jaw.

chanyeol’s world went out of focus for a second there, and when he came back to earth, he found that the boy was gone, and his chest fell.

_holy shit._

———

**july 14th, 1pm.**

about five days later, chanyeol found himself at lunch with namjoon, them two sharing gentle conversation over sandwiches and coffee, when namjoon suddenly went, “stop thinking of that damned stripper, man.”

chanyeol blinked once, twice, thrice, and then went, “w-what?”

a laugh, and then, “i can tell. after you went on about him that night, i thought you were just drunk, but you’ve got that same foggy look in your eyes. he’s just a stripper.” chanyeol looked up at him, and namjoon was looking at him with eyes that chanyeol couldn’t quite read. “you’re probably never going to see him again.”

chanyeol chewed on his upper lip, and looked back to his sandwich. _not unless i go back to the club._

namjoon read him like an open book, and it pissed chanyeol off. “don’t you dare go back there. what are you going to do? creepily watch him and hope he notices you? sneak into his dressing room after one of his performances? y’know, that’s how serial killers are made.”

maybe he was right. chanyeol laughed, and nodded, “okay, okay.” he was right.

———

**july 22, 11pm.**

baekhyun did his best to keep that creep jiho off of minhyuk, but when minhyuk told him they’d fucked for the fucking third time the night that baekhyun had off, he was pissed. “it’s not a big deal,” minhyuk had said, twisting in his seat at his vanity, pointing at baekhyun with an eyeshadow brush. baekhyun was already on his feet. “sit back down. i can take care of myself, baek-hyung. what if i just have needs?”

“then you come to me or literally anyone else. not that pig.” regardless of his words, he sat back down. he was too tired to deal with jiho, anyway.

minhyuk laughed as he went back to his makeup, and giggled out, “go to you? oh, baekhyunnie-hyung, you’re not much of a top.”

“i could still make you cum.”

“mm? next time i’m lonely, then.”

———

**july 25, 10pm.**

chanyeol went back to the club a few times, some by himself and some with a friend he dragged along. he’d stay and watch that boy perform again and again, and after the strip, he’d go to the bar and sit and wait and hope, hope that maybe he’d see the boy again, maybe he’d show up and ask chanyeol to dance.

it never happened.

see, chanyeol was a sort of romantic, believing whole heartedly of the idea of love at first sight and spending the rest of your life with that person. so that’s why he came, put himself in fate’s way and beckoned. but the train never hit him, instead hooking a right at the closest fork in the track.

chanyeol was getting sick of waiting, sick of getting hit on every night, sick of getting drunk. the only reason he was there was because of that stripper, and after weeks of trying, he hadn’t run into him again.

he couldn’t give up, though. chanyeol couldn’t give up on him.

so days and weeks made their way past him like they were months and years, and eventually, the train hit.

———

**august 8, 12am.**

baekhyun left his dressing room in something skimpy, not stripper skimpy, but a tasteful skimpy. one that told other guys that he was ready to be cuffed to a bed post, but not one that yelled that he wanted cum up his nose in the club bathroom.

he was looking for a fuck, and that was it. someone he could take home to have for the night, but prayed would be gone by daybreak.

he was leveling the crowd, catching the eyes of a few older men and quickly looking away before they got any ideas. he seemed to only find little twinks that stood at his age, and any top that he surveyed seemed to have one of those damn things already biting at his stubble.

baekhyun found himself leaning over someone’s shoulder and hollering for a drink, but caught not one bartender’s attention. he rolled his eyes, huffed, and muttered, “guess you can’t expect any of those idiots to be aware of anything, they’re already using their last 6 surviving brain cells to make drinks and flirt.”

whoever he had leant over stifled a chuckle, and when baekhyun glanced, it was a young boy, maybe a little younger than he was, cheeks big and baby face evident. baekhyun smiled at him.

“what’re you giggling at, baby face?”

the boy snapped his head up, and his chocolate eyes put puppies to shame, staring up at baekhyun. for a split second, all he did was stare, but then he was grabbing his drink and offering it to the boy. “you can have mine if you want. it’s something with vodka and juice, i think.”

baekhyun smiled, his mind swirling with how smooth and deep the boy’s voice had been despite his baby face. he couldn’t help but cock his head to the side and think about how he’d sound in bed.

it seems he’d found his victim.

he took the drink from his fingers and took two gulps of it, the burn bringing his senses back to life and let his blood rush hotly through his veins. he set the glass back on the counter, intrigued eyes watching the kid, and brought his hand to his thigh, fingers tugging gently at the jean fabric. “what’s your name?” he asked, crooking his head up a bit as he did. when he received a very brief hesitation, he tagged on, “so i know what name i’m screaming in bed later tonight.”

the boy’s cheeks flamed, and he went, “chanyeol—park chanyeol.” he was pink up to his damn ears.

“byun baekhyun,” came his response, and he smiled, unsure if it was because of the name and how pretty it was or because of how flustered the boy had become. “come dance with me, park chanyeol.”

as baekhyun grabbed his hand, chanyeol used the other to quickly finish off the last of his drink just before the stripper had managed to pull him from his stool and into the crowd. they were pushed together quickly, lost somewhere in the middle of the swarm, and baekhyun pivoted around on his heel to face him. as he did, he let out a choked gasp, eyes first meeting the height he presumed chanyeol would stand at (his jaw) and then spanning up to meet his eyes. “shit,” he whispered, and chanyeol just barely caught it, displaying a half-grin half-smirk across his lips.

baekhyun stabilized himself, arms coming up to wrap around the boy’s neck, lips playing upwards as he felt large, thin hands make their way to his hips. “c’mon then,” he urged, eyes intrigued. “show me what i have to look forward to tonight.”

and chanyeol damn well did.

———

**august 8, 1am.**

later, when the moon had found itself a new position in the sky, chanyeol stumbled into baekhyun’s apartment, turning to watch as he locked the door behind them. baekhyun turned to the boy, smirking with a sense of warmth that showed it should’ve been a smile, but he refused to let that side show through him again.

he clasped his hand with chanyeol’s and lead him into the bedroom, pushing him onto the bed and standing between his knees. he made a show of taking off his shirt, and chanyeol enjoyed his own personal strip, hands exploring the expanse of his body, from his ass to his thighs to his hips. baekhyun made a hum that only egged chanyeol on, the boy leaning forward to press his lips against the skin of his stomach. tongue and teeth met his skin as he claimed his body as his, only stopping when baekhyun pushed him back. “no marks—“ came his breathy protest, one that showed he really didn’t stand behind his words. “boss’ll be pissed.”

chanyeol nodded, but he truly wished he didn’t have to understand, that he could mark up baekhyun’s body as much as he wanted.

baekhyun then straddled his thighs, running his hands down his shoulders and to the base of chanyeol’s shirt, where he began pulling it off for him. he didn’t need much instruction to begin helping baekhyun with the task until his shirt was left forgotten on the floor, and chanyeol had made his way to kissing along baekhyun’s skin. first starting at the scar on his jaw and then tracing down his neck, ensuring to taste every inch of him.

shivers coursed his body as chanyeol’s tongue replaced his lips, feeling baekhyun’s pulse beat hotly against his neck. he smirked, leaning up just that little amount to take his ear lobe in his mouth, making baekhyun collapse slightly forward and into chanyeol’s chest. his chuckle pounded through his blood, along with the chilling words of, “so good for me, baby,” and soon followed by, “so pretty.”

his praise flushed baekhyun’s face an impossible amount more, and he decided that he couldn’t let chanyeol have all the control. so he pushed the boy back onto the bed, coming over him and hovering over his body. his raspberry hair brushed against chanyeol’s forehead, eyes blinking and lips parted, until baekhyun backed out last second and decided to just kiss chanyeol’s jaw instead.

chanyeol huffed through his nose, hands gripping baekhyun’s hips to keep him stable, head tilting back to give him further access to skin. he felt baekhyun smirk against his body.

he let his hands freely wander as baekhyun made it very clear he wanted to be on top and dominate chanyeol for a bit, which he’d be lying if he said he minded. eventually, although, his hands found their way to baekhyun’s jeans, and even the slight palming that chanyeol supplied had baekhyun stuttering his once smooth movements above him.

“no,” came his huff, frustrated with chanyeol’s impatience. he sat up just to grab chanyeol’s wrists and pin them down beside his head. “not yet.”

chanyeol’s eyes glimmered in that way of his as baekhyun released his hands and dipped back down, this time, sliding his lips across the expanse of his chest and torso. he felt chanyeol give a noise of approval under his mouth, so he added his tongue and teeth into the mix, and that caused chanyeol to squirm slightly underneath him. he smirked, satisfied.

but he wouldn’t be fully satisfied until he heard what that damned moan sounded like.

he made a meal out of the skin above chanyeol’s jeans, sucking a hickey to the immediate left of his belly button. as he did so, he slowly popped the button of his pants, hooking his fingers under the waistband of them. chanyeol’s hips rose up and baekhyun took his opportunity, pulling his clothes off until he was left in just his briefs on baekhyun’s bed. the sight made him smirk.

he brought his fingers to chanyeol’s briefs, toying with the material between his fingers a bit, teasing the boy that quickly grew hot under his touch. eventually, he gave him a taste of what he wanted, palming him through his underwear and earning himself a moan of agreement, a moan that made baekhyun’s eyes flutter. it was just as deep as he imagined, and it went right to his own cock. he played this game for a while, but grew bored of it quickly and eventually bent down, his tongue finding his cock through the material. chanyeol shifted under his mouth, and didn’t waste time in saying, “get my briefs off already, fuck, baekhyun. stop teasing.”

baekhyun felt proud as he did as the boy commanded, tossing his briefs somewhere into the corners of his room. his tongue dragged up the expanse of his cock, hard and laying against his stomach, maybe the size of chanyeol’s hand. bigger than most guys that baekhyun had been with. thicker, too, he noted, finally closing his lips around his dick as he grew impatient. he wanted the damn boy in his mouth already.

it didn’t take long for him to have chanyeol panting, a mix of his tongue and his hands wandering his body, and after a while, pulled off with a satisfying string of saliva following him. he glanced up at chanyeol, who was up on his elbows, black hair painted on his forehead. baekhyun licked his lips.

“clothes off. now,” came chanyeol’s order, his eyes both icy and dominant, but his body gave him away—panting and red. baekhyun didn’t hesitate, though, taking off his own jeans and briefs quickly and discarding them. he backed up so he was leaning against the headboard, and was only able to numbly point to the drawer in his nightstand when chanyeol asked where the lube was. the boy had to lean close to him to fish it out, and eventually, he did, sitting back on his ankles as he uncapped it. he glanced up, and made the quick decision of, “hands and knees.”

baekhyun did so quickly, although he dipped down so his elbows supported him instead, giving his ass the prime spotlight. glancing over his shoulder quickly, he found chanyeol lubing himself, and then lathering four whole fucking fingers up, making eye contact with baekhyun just before he brought them to his entrance. his dominant facade broke then, a caring look in his eyes asking baekhyun if he was ready. as soon as baekhyun nodded once, his top side had returned, and circled one finger around his rim. baekhyun bit his cheek just before the first digit slid in, and his eyes shut.

he hadn’t been touched by anyone like this in so long, he’d just had himself and his own fingers, which can only be dragged out for a certain amount of time before it’s a broken record. he needed this. he needed this night.

chanyeol realized how stretched he already was and smirked, nipping his cheek and mumbling, “did you already play with yourself today, kitten? naughty.”

that string of words sent baekhyun absolutely purring into his sheets, pushing his ass back in demand for more. chanyeol happily supplied.

baekhyun adjusted quickly as each new finger was introduced, and he was sure that chanyeol could fit all five in there if he wasn’t practically falling apart from the absence of his cock. that’s all he wanted—all he needed, in fact.

impatiently, he demanded, “fuck, get inside of me already.” but it came out more of a mewl, well equipped with whines and at least two “please”s. he couldn’t believe he was crumbling in chanyeol’s grip like this. he’s only gotten pushed this far a few times.

at the loss of his warm fingers, baekhyun stifled another pout, and instead gripped onto the sheets as he waited.

and fuck, chanyeol did not disappoint.

his cock filled him up a comfortable and fulfilling amount, and baekhyun couldn’t even get time to think _it’s as if we’re made for each other_ before he was moving. and chanyeol—chanyeol did not fuck around.

his thrusts were quick, deep, and all the while thought out, forcing baekhyun into a mess of moans and cries. at one point, he accidentally blubbered out, “daddy,” and was shocked by how chanyeol picked up his pace, one hand splayed across the span of baekhyun’s back and the other gripping his hip.

baekhyun was seeing white when chanyeol pulled out, and before he had a chance to yell at him to give him his dick back, chanyeol flipped him onto his back, hiking his legs up. baekhyun approved of the position change.

before he knew it, chanyeol was inside him again, and baekhyun’s hands were in his hair, back arching up so their chests met. chanyeol’s pants synced up with baekhyun’s own until they were both exhaling hotly and messily on each other’s skin.

baekhyun had his eyes shut when chanyeol kissed him.

the move made him jump, to say the least, but chanyeol obviously took no mind to it and continued on both fucking his body, mouth, and head. baekhyun let him kiss him, though, let chanyeol’s tongue lick into his mouth and teeth bite down on his lip. he thought, _whatever, whatever gets you off._ and went right back to being fucked.

chanyeol pulled back to begin a string of praises, all along the lines of, “so pretty for me, baby.” others included words like “kitten” and “tight”, but all had the same backing to them. baekhyun couldn’t really concentrate on his words right then, because his hand was on his own cock and he was going to cum any second.

“daddy,” he decided on, “i’m gunna cum.”

chanyeol nipped his jaw, and told him in a gruff murmur, “then cum, kitten.”

it didn’t take long, obviously, how do you hear a line like that and not shoot your load? chanyeol kept going as he came, his body shaking as chanyeol pulled himself out and came not too long after. they had painted baekhyun’s stomach in cum, but he couldn’t have cared less, hell if he even noticed, he was too busy thriving on the high and hoping it didn’t go away too soon. chanyeol laid beside him, reveling in his own, eyes shut and body warm.

he’d just fucked his dorky schoolgirl crush of a few weeks.

he could barely even remember how he got there.

only a few minutes passed, and then chanyeol was asking, “where’s your bathroom?” and soon returning with a damp towel to clean baekhyun off. after he had, he joined the boy in bed, and baekhyun didn’t even protest. he was too busy in the clouded, foggy home of his thoughts.

———

**august 8, 9am.**

chanyeol was there when baekhyun woke up.

dammit, of course he was.

not only was he there, but he had an arm strewn over baekhyun’s body, keeping the boy in bed whether he wanted to be there or not. immediate thoughts of, _quick, get up and run_ , and _if you leave now maybe he’ll get the hint_ played in his head, but he decided against them. he didn’t really know this chanyeol kid, and he was _not_ going to leave him alone in his apartment. what if he stole something?

baekhyun faced the consequences of the night by glancing over at the sleeping boy, squinting slightly against the sunlight that seeped in through his blinds and muttering a curse, barely audible under his breath. _oh, god._ how was he going to tell him to get lost without breaking the poor kid’s heart?

he laid there for a few minutes, thinking about getting up, praying chanyeol would wake up on his own, before deciding on the earlier decision and doing his best to climb from the bed. he managed it, thankfully, but not so thankfully jostled chanyeol a bit in the process, and was provided with a mumbling, groaning, and now awake, one night stand. “baekhyun-ah,” left his lips, and baekhyun bit his tongue to silence the bit of him that wanted to snap and say he was his hyung, because not only was he trying to be gentle with the boy, but also because he wasn’t sure if he even was or not. that damned baby face gave nothing away.

chanyeol moved again, this time touching no baekhyun in bed with him, and blinked his eyes open to find the stripper now putting on briefs and pajama bottoms. “come back to bed,” came his whine, and baekhyun shut his eyes. he was happy he faced away from the bed so chanyeol didn’t see the way his face scrunched up.

“i can’t. i’ve got errands to run,” was his hesitant excuse, and he heard chanyeol move around some more under the covers, and this time, he curiously glanced back.

the boy was sitting up now, rubbing clarity back into his eyes. those chocolate irises then found baekhyun’s, but he quickly looked away, pulling on a shirt. “ah, alright,” his mumble sounded. “i’ll get going, then.”

baekhyun mouthed a silent _thank god_ and finally turned to watch as chanyeol got up from the mattress, searching the ground for his clothes. he collected his briefs and jeans, but blearily looked for his shirt, only to find it in baekhyun’s grasp. a mutter of his appreciation left his lips, and baekhyun walked past him and out of the room, weaving his way to the kitchen. chanyeol soon followed.

he watched baekhyun move around from the doorway, probably expecting an invite to stay for pancakes or something, but baekhyun uttered no such words. instead, he grabbed a pack of cigarettes and lighter he had left on the kitchen counter, putting one between his lips and lighting it as chanyeol watched him. a moment later, when he glanced out of the corner of his eye, he found chanyeol moving to scribble something on the notepad that was usually used for grocery shopping—except the list at the top currently just read lube and a new razor.

chanyeol made his way to baekhyun, placing a kiss on his cheek, despite the boy’s feeble attempt to never meet his eyes. “text me, then,” he said, and baekhyun immediately knew that he had etched out his phone number on the paper.

chanyeol walked away to pull on his shoes, and then baekhyun was hearing the door shut, telling him that he was finally alone. his shoulders fell and he ran to the door, locking it before chanyeol could make a dramatic return.

his bare feet fell comfortably into the carpet as he made his way into the kitchen, catching the sight of the notepad and seeing chanyeol’s number written there, along with a smiley face and a heart.

baekhyun ripped it up and threw it away.

———

**august 10, 10am.**

“we had the most amazing night together,” chanyeol gushed to jihoon the next day over the phone, pacing around his own apartment. jihoon laughed on the other side. “he’s amazing in bed, i swear.”

“did you guys just have sex? was that it?”

a pause, and then, “yeah.”

———

**august 27, 11pm.**

chanyeol never got a call from baekhyun, which confused him, but he tried not to settle the subject.

except for the fact that he tried and failed, thus spending most of his time worrying over it.

he didn’t see his friends much anymore, instead just going to work and going home, too cowardly to even go to the strip club. he didn’t want baekhyun to think he was impatient or needy, so he kept his distance.

although, after two weeks and three days, he threw his patience to the wind and went to the club.

he watched baekhyun’s strip from a distance, seeing no marks from their night together on his body, much to his disappointment. but that was fine, seeing as baekhyun didn’t let him bruise his skin too darkly anyway and it was so long ago, so it was no matter that they had gone.

he sat at the bar and waited, hoping he’d catch baekhyun on his way out or something, and he did—just not doing what chanyeol expected.

his eyes had located him on the dance floor, and just as he got to his feet to go over, he realized a man stood behind him, hands on baekhyun’s hips. they were grinding, baekhyun’s eyes closed and lips parted. chanyeol tried not to punch something, his sadness fading away a few days ago, and now anger filled that hole.

he watched them for a few more minutes until the man started leading them out and to what chanyeol could only assume were going to be the bathrooms.

_classy._

chanyeol cut them off in the hallway, grabbing the man’s long sleeve at the bicep. he was maybe a few years older than chanyeol himself, but definitely stood shorter, looking up in both confusion and slight amusement. “what’s up, man?”

baekhyun stood a few steps back from the two, reading from chanyeol’s eyes that nothing less of a fight was going to breakout. _damn_. and he kind of liked that other guy, too.

he grew bored in a few seconds and turned away, chuckling a bit when he heard chanyeol’s fist collide with the man’s face. it didn’t take long for chanyeol to catch up with him and grab his wrist, effectively both stopping him and turning him around. “what do you want?” baekhyun said, lifting his chin a bit, but chanyeol’s dark eyes said that he really shouldn’t be testing him.

“you never called me,” chanyeol confronted him easily, and baekhyun raised an eyebrow. his lips crooked up.

“that’s cute,” he grinned, “thinking i’d call you. you were just a good fuck, babe.”

chanyeol’s eyes flashed with something—hurt, even more anger, lust—hell, baekhyun wasn’t sure. he did know that chanyeol was shoving him into a wall only a few seconds later and pinning him there, connecting their lips in a hot kiss, one that made baekhyun cross his arms and keep his eyes open. he wasn’t very amused by the boy’s antics.

the kiss was passionate, sure, but it was one sided, chanyeol pouring all the anger he’d had in the past two weeks into that kiss, most of it having grown from the past hour. when he pulled back, however, he was panting, and said, “there’s not a chance you didn’t feel anything there.”

baekhyun looked at him, really did, and found a kid that wore his heart pretty openly on his sleeve and fell in love too fast. it almost broke baekhyun’s heart. fuck, he should _not_ have slept with this kid. “i felt your tongue,” baekhyun decided on, and chanyeol pulled back. baekhyun might have been heartless, but the way that chanyeol’s eyes broke made him break as well. but he stayed quiet and bit his cheek, casting his eyes down.

“do you really not like me that much?” chanyeol asked, and baekhyun furrowed his eyebrows, shook his head.

“that’s not it.”

they stood there for a few more moments, until chanyeol decided, “let me take you out to dinner then. if you don’t feel anything, i’ll never come back here. but if you do, then...”

he didn’t finish that thought, and baekhyun glanced up, opening his mouth to say something, but he hesitated, and just stood there with his mouth open like a fish.

“just agree to it. it’ll be at no cost to you—i’ll pay for you and everything. just give me a chance, baekhyun,” the boy pleaded, and baekhyun blinked once, twice.

“what year are you?”

chanyeol stumbled a bit at that, not expecting the sudden question, but answered all the same, “‘92.”

baekhyun huffed, demanding, “month.”

“11.”

he chuckled, and began making his way to the bar, chanyeol following close behind like a puppy on a short leash. “firstly, i’m your hyung,” he said before ducking behind the counter, finding a napkin and a pen. “secondly,” he slid the napkin over, now reading his number, “i like spicy food. surprise me.”

chanyeol beamed, positively beamed, and baekhyun couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled from his lips. he couldn’t believe this was the kid that he’d fucking called daddy only a couple weeks ago.

———

**august 29, 7pm.**

baekhyun ended up meeting him at some korean restaurant in town, kind of nervous from the fear of leading him on. chanyeol was a good kid, sure, but he was scared that the boy would end up caring for him in a way that baekhyun just couldn’t reciprocate. and he was sure it was already blossoming since chanyeol just refused to let up, and that thought terrified him more.

he made his way in the dimly lit restaurant to find chanyeol, waiting in a booth by himself, and baekhyun was sure he hadn’t even glanced at the menu that laid closed in front of him. he bit his smile away, joining the boy in the booth, watching with a crushed heart as chanyeol brightened up.

“hi,” baekhyun murmured, and chanyeol chirped one back, watching as he positioned himself comfortably, eyes warm and excited.

baekhyun looked up and smiled halfheartedly, chanyeol going, “how’s your day been?”

he chuckled a bit under his breath, and said, “well, i slept majority of the day because this is all i have today, so pretty well i suppose. what have you been up to?”

chanyeol bit away the urge to admit  _worrying over this damn date_  and instead shared, “i had work most of the day, but i really wish i could say the same.”

baekhyun’s smile tested itself, and he went, “what do you do?”

“i’m a nurse.”

and if that wasn’t the cutest thing baekhyun had ever heard.

———

**august 29, 9pm.**

he ended up having a good time, laughing at chanyeol’s awful jokes and getting him to snort at his own just as bad ones. baekhyun wished he could say his eyes were as bright as chanyeol’s were throughout the date, but he couldn’t. he still felt nothing. well. not nothing.

“you interest me.”

baekhyun had admitted this on their walk back to his car, a cigarette between his fingers and faint confusion in his eyes, when chanyeol had prompted if he was feeling anything or not. “is that good or bad?” chanyeol asked silently, eyes now on his feet, ensuring he wasn’t walking too fast for baekhyun and staying steadily in step with him.

the boy thought for a moment, his gaze forward, one arm crossed over his body. the summer night chill had arrived. “good, i think,” he said, not daring to glance over at chanyeol.

“i want to see you again,” he let escape when chanyeol was bidding him goodbye at his car.

chanyeol glanced up from the spot on his shoes he’d been trained on, now meeting baekhyun’s eyes, watching as his guard let up a bit. “yeah?”

“yes.”

silence became their friend once more, and baekhyun stepped out his cigarette, now using that hand to grab the car handle behind his back. “then i’ll text you.”

baekhyun hummed, nodding once, turning around and opening his car door. he turned back to chanyeol for just a moment, telling him, “i’ll see you.”

he froze up as chanyeol grew a bit closer, and the boy bent down, lips softly pecking baekhyun’s cheek, leaving him red—but baekhyun would never admit it was from a blush, just that it was colder out that night than usual, since autumn was coming. “see you,” he murmured against his skin before stepping back, giving him room to get into his car, which he did.

chanyeol stood there until he drove away.

———

**september 2, 11pm.**

a few days went by without much of contact from chanyeol, and baekhyun figured that maybe he’d given up hope, and he’d be lying through his teeth if he said he wasn’t the slightest bit disappointed. he honestly did like chanyeol, just not in the way that he wanted him to. but he couldn’t.

not again.

baekhyun was in his dressing room after another performance and successful night of tips, changing into his normal clothes. he had just pulled a large hoodie over his head when minhyuk came in, and immediately said, “hey, there’s some good looking guy out at the bar, asked me if i knew you.” he spoke as he made his way to his own clothes rack, beginning to change into his outfit for his own show. “i said no, don’t worry.”

baekhyun glanced at him through the mirror, and prompted, “what’s he look like?”

minhyuk stopped to consider that for a second, before saying, “dark hair, baby face, really really fucking tall—“

he was out of his seat in a second, leaving the dressing room to find the boy.

chanyeol was sitting at the bar, watching some boy up on the stage, sipping his ‘bloody mary’s rosary’ without much interest. he didn’t even like bloody marys. he’d just gotten it because the name made him laugh.

someone stepped into his line of focus, and he blinked a few times until their features cleared up, the boy’s hands flat on chanyeol’s thighs. he found it was baekhyun, and his lips turned up in a smile, sitting up to greet him, “baekhyun,” and then a quick addition of, “hyung.”

baekhyun’s lips quirked at that, and he murmured, one eyebrow brought up slightly higher than the other, “were you watching him?”

chocolate eyes flicked to the kid just over baekhyun’s shoulder, one that had to be younger than the both of them. he settled back on baekhyun, and tested, “and what if i was?”

baekhyun’s hands crawled higher up into his lap as he brought himself that small amount closer, eventually sliding his palm over chanyeol’s cock in his jeans. “well then, i’d have to teach you a lesson on who you should be watching instead,” he purred, and chanyeol set his drink down. he used his fingers to tilt baekhyun’s chin up, their noses bumping as he leaned in closer.

their eyes locked for a few moments before chanyeol dragged his lips across baekhyun’s cheek, hot breath on his ear as he whispered, “good boy. haven’t forgotten who your daddy is.”

baekhyun’s breath hitched at that, eyes fluttering a bit. “come with me,” he decided quickly, grabbing chanyeol’s hand that still rested by his side, stepping back and watching as chanyeol got down from his stool, intrigued.

he lead him down the hallway of dressing rooms until he reached his and minhyuk’s, stepping in on the boy touching up his hair and makeup. “hey, baekhyunnie-hyung, can i steal those hoop earrings you have? i need—“

he cut himself off when he found baekhyun standing there with an out of breath chanyeol behind him, and he smirked to himself. “i can take a hint,” he said, collecting a few of his things in his arms, stepping up to them. “there’s lube in my top left drawer if you two need it, just don’t get any bodily fluids on any of my things or i’ll ring both of you out.”

he made his way past them and out the door, baekhyun shutting it behind him and locking it swiftly. his cheeks burned but he wouldn’t let himself stay embarrassed for long. instead, he swiveled on chanyeol, finding the boy trying to awkwardly stutter something out, obviously feeling uncomfortable, but baekhyun pushed him down onto the chair at his vanity. “don’t say anything,” he murmured. “let me put on a show for you.”

and he did. he put on one of the best damn strip teases in 7 years.

———

**september 5, 10pm.**

“so chanyeol, huh?”

minhyuk hadn’t let go of that night, never stopping the teasing smile that held on his lips. it was 3 days following, and baekhyun had finally given into giving him chanyeol’s name. “yeah, but nothing’s going on between us, so don’t get all giggly like that,” he huffed, sweeping an eyeshadow brush over his lid, covering his eye in shimmery gold pigments to match his outfit for that night.

“‘nothing’s going on’? are you kidding me? that boy is head over heels for you! i could tell just from one look at him!” minhyuk argued, sitting and watching baekhyun from his own vanity, a frown now owning his features, eyebrows together in a slight anger.

baekhyun stopped his movements, looked down at the eyeshadow palette on his counter. “i know,” he whispered.

———

**september 10, 6pm.**

he felt sick to his stomach about leading chanyeol on. but now they were on another date—chanyeol had convinced him to go into town and go window shopping with him, even as many times as baekhyun had claimed it was a bad idea. which it definitely was.

baekhyun had never been very smart.

chanyeol lead the pairing around the city, pointing out boutiques and candy shops he enjoyed the most, and eventually grabbed baekhyun’s wrist to pull him into an ice cream shop, claiming he was hot and he needed it. baekhyun knew he didn’t need it. baekhyun knew it was an excuse to get them to do something coupley, especially since the autumn air was taking its course, forcing them both into light jackets.

he tagged along anyway, and they stood in line together, eventually stepping up to the display of dozens of ice cream. chanyeol buzzed about his favorite ones, and said, “let me surprise you.” so baekhyun trusted him.

chanyeol paid for the two and baekhyun ended up leaving with a waffle cone filled with two scoops, one mint chocolate chip and the other chocolate fudge, while chanyeol had grabbed himself birthday cake with as many sprinkles as humanly possible. he skipped ahead of baekhyun, causing the older boy to speed up to a jog to keep up with him, and lead them to the bridge that overlooked the falls. baekhyun glanced around, a solemn look on his features.

“take a picture with me,” chanyeol said, and his eyes were too bright to say no to. so chanyeol extended his arm—who needs selfie sticks when your arms are that damn long—and took a picture of them two with their ice cream cones in front of their faces. baekhyun giggled at the picture and immediately told chanyeol to send it to him.

they found themselves climbing down the stairs until they sat on rocks just near the river that the falls poured into, happily eating their ice cream. baekhyun picked at a loose thread in his jeans.

chanyeol was so different in daylight than he was when they were either in bed or at the club. there he was dominant, commanding—here he was the same, but with bad humor and the goofiest smile that reminded baekhyun of a puppy. he truly was a romantic to say the least, between the way he praised baekhyun in bed to how he took them on dates in town, eating ice cream and sitting beside a waterfall. it was disgustingly sappy. but baekhyun kind of liked it.

“why do you like me?”

baekhyun asked this when they were walking calmly through the town, the sun beginning to set. the sky was painted in pinks and oranges, and some of the shades reflected on chanyeol’s face when he glanced over at baekhyun. “what do you mean?” came his response, and baekhyun pursed his lips.

he thought for a second, then eventually, “i’ve already made it clear that i probably won’t fall for you. and yet you keep coming back to me. i don’t get it.” he looked up to chanyeol. “i don’t get you.”

chanyeol paused, both in his footing and his speech, and baekhyun stopped a few steps ahead of him, turning. “you’re beautiful,” came chanyeol’s decision, and baekhyun stared on. “and i know you say you won’t ever find it in yourself to love me at all in return, but i think... i think it’s more painful to be away from you than it is to be with you and be aware of that.”

baekhyun swallowed.

while he searched for words to respond with, chanyeol pinned on, “besides, if that was actually true, you’d keep yourself away from me one way or another. you’ve had the chance and every time, you let yourself wander back to me.” his lips quirked up in a smile, reaching a hand up to push his hair off of his forehead. “i think, subconsciously, you like me back. but you won’t let yourself.”

———

**december 13, 3am.**

after three months of dates, whether they be spent in baekhyun’s bed or in a restaurant, baekhyun was becoming more and more anxious. he knew he wasn’t feeling anything for chanyeol—of course not. he’d gone numb to love a long time ago. but what made him anxious was chanyeol, chanyeol who was falling in love with him, chanyeol who couldn’t go a couple days without seeing baekhyun. _fuck. he was screwed._

he needed a break. to relax. so when minhyuk showed up to his apartment with a bag of weed one night, he was beyond happy.

his apartment reeked, the two giggling over the dumb hallmark christmas special that baekhyun had accidentally clicked to and minhyuk had screamed to keep on. minhyuk somehow managed to work the oven, and although he made it out with a few minor burns to his fingers, they now had mozzarella sticks and those cute little pizza bagel bites.

“call him already!” minhyuk demanded around a bagel bite, grabbing baekhyun’s phone and unlocking it—fuck, why had baekhyun given him his passcode? he found chanyeol’s contact, jumping to his feet and running away when baekhyun tried to snatch it out of his hand. minhyuk locked himself in the bedroom, and baekhyun heard the ringing, minhyuk having put it on speaker.

“baekhyun-hyung?” came chanyeol’s voice out of the receiver, sleepy and low, since, after all, it was 2am.

at least, it was the last time baekhyun had checked, but it was surely past then by now.

“no~” minhyuk giggled, “this is his friend! that one stripper, you know? pretty with the white hair?”

“give me my fucking phone back!” came baekhyun’s yell from the other side of the door, but minhyuk tuned him out easily.

“baekhyunnie-hyung has a little bit of an issue with words, chanyeolie, but he thinks you’re cute~!” minhyuk giggled, opening the door then and handing the phone calmly to baekhyun.

“ah, uh, can i talk to him then?” came chanyeol’s murmur, intrigued and still slightly sleepy, probably slowly processing what was going on.

“i’m so sorry, babyface, minhyukkie doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” baekhyun hissed, his eyes sending death glares at minhyuk, but he couldn’t hold them and soon started giggling himself.

“i heard you think i’m cute, baekhyun-hyung,” came chanyeol’s teasing tone.

baekhyun bit his lip, cheeks flaring up. “don’t get any ideas, babe, you’re still the last number on my speed dial.”

“you’re lying. i’m number one, and you know it.” chanyeol must have picked up on how loose baekhyun was as of now, and took it to his advantage. _bastard_.

“and what if you were? would you come running if i called you?”

he laid on the couch, head in minhyuk’s lap now, the two giggling and blushing like a pair of 7th grade girls calling their crush. “of course i would, baby. any time of the day.” chanyeol paused, and then whispered, “i’d come right now if you gave the word.”

“what’s the word?” baekhyun couldn’t stop himself.

“hmm. how about your favorite nickname for me? daddy?”

chanyeol most definitely didn’t know he was on speakerphone, and had left minhyuk in a mess of giggles and startled chokes on his mozzarella stick. baekhyun couldn’t feel embarrassed with how stoned he was, and purred back, “well then... daddy?”

“mm. good boy,” chanyeol praised, and baekhyun smiled proudly. “minhyuk, if you could do us two a favor and go, i’ll make sure to tip you big next time i stop by at the club.”

ah, so he did know he was on speaker.

“you two are always kicking me out to fuck! i’m friends with bunnies,” he huffed stubbornly, and baekhyun burst into happy laughter. he couldn’t see it, but chanyeol was beaming on the other end of the phone at the sound of it. “alright, alright. make sure he can’t walk tomorrow.”

“oh, i promise. he’ll probably be conveniently sick.”

they ended up hanging up a few minutes later, and minhyuk got to his feet, chanting an original song of, “minhyukkie gettin’ everybody pregnant!” while dancing some pretty vulgar moves. baekhyun positively lost it.

———

**december 13, 4am.**

when chanyeol showed, minhyuk had gone, and he let himself into an unlocked apartment. he did baekhyun a favor by locking it behind him, and at the shut of the door, baekhyun came bubbling out of his room. “chanyeolie!” he sang, collapsing into the boy’s chest, humming, pleased. chanyeol laughed.

“well, hello to you too, little baek,” he dropped the honorifics, knowing with how high baekhyun was—he could smell it down the hall—he wouldn’t even notice. “let’s get you to bed.”

“no no no,” baekhyun whined, and began tugging at chanyeol’s shirt. “want your cock in me, please, daddy.”

chanyeol sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, inhaling deeply. he couldn’t. he knew he couldn’t. not when baekhyun was like this. “okay,” he said anyway, “go lay in bed and wait for me, baby.”

he nodded quickly, rushing off and into his room again. chanyeol sighed, rubbing the heel of his hand into his temple and stripping himself of his boots and winter coat before he followed him. he found him already down to his briefs in the bed, waiting with a buzz of energy enveloping him like a halo. chanyeol chuckled.

he took off his shirt and got into the bed beside him, deciding he’d do the bare minimum, all soft things in an attempt to lull baekhyun to sleep. he tucked them both under the covers and brushed his fingertips over baekhyun’s bare side, lips gently making their way across the expanse of his neck. baekhyun’s breath slowed, relaxing under chanyeol’s touch, and chanyeol pulled back to find his eyes shut comfortably. he placed a kiss under each of his eyes, feeling baekhyun’s lashes flutter against his top lip. he smiled a bit, and laid on his back. the sleepy boy immediately tucked himself into chanyeol’s side, allowing him to kiss his forehead just before he knew baekhyun had been sent off to sleep.

———

**december 13, 11am.**

baekhyun woke up curled around chanyeol, and he scrambled up immediately, not recalling much about the previous night but recalling enough to know he’d fucked up. big.

he rushed into the kitchen and hung his head over the sink, breathing heavy. he needed to calm down. this wasn’t as bad as his head was making it seem. everything would be fine, he wasn’t falling for chanyeol.

he paused. why did he have to convince himself of that? he knew damn well he wasn’t.

chanyeol’s words pulsed through his head. _“i think, subconsciously, you like me back. but you won’t let yourself.”_

baekhyun swallowed. shut his eyes hard.

he refused to let himself fall in love again. let alone have a stupid crush on someone.

it didn’t take long for a sleepy and confused chanyeol to step out of the bedroom, rubbing his eyes. “baekhyun-hyung?” he murmured, voice slowed down by exhaustion. “is there something wrong?”

he needed to stop this. he needed to hurt chanyeol so bad that he wouldn’t come back. “you need to get out,” he said, voice shaking, eyes never tearing away from the sink. hands gripped the counter top.

“what?” that definitely woke him up.

“i said get out of here,” he snapped through his teeth. seething. “i don’t want to see you anymore, park chanyeol.”

“baekhyun, i really don’t think you’re—“

“i am your hyung and you’ll damn well treat me like it,” he demanded, finally looking up to the boy. he stood there, looking as if baekhyun had just stabbed him in the back. he might as well have. “i don’t want to see you anymore. this has gone too far.”

chanyeol stepped forward, so now they stood only a foot away from each other, and baekhyun stared up at him, eyes hard. unwavering. “stop denying yourself, hyung. you don’t want this.”

he dug his nails into his palms, and quickly retaliated, “you don’t know me well enough to say what i do and don’t want. and i can tell you with confidence that this—“ he motioned between them, “—is not what i want.”

“yes, it is,” chanyeol bit back immediately. “you’re just scared. you’re scared to fall in love with me so you’re holding yourself back. i’ll catch you, baekhyun-hyung. you can trust me.”

“stop that!” baekhyun shouted, pushing chanyeol back when he made an attempt to come closer. “i-i’m not going to fall in love with you. fucking accept that.”

chanyeol, in return, grabbed his wrist, keeping him in place. baekhyun glared at him, a fire in his eyes, but chanyeol didn’t show any signs of backing down. “you’re lying through your teeth, and you know it!” chanyeol snapped. “you just need to give it time. stop being afraid of it.”

he pulled his wrist free of the boy’s grasp, and hissed, “i should’ve never had sex with you. i’ve never regretted something more in my life.”

he side stepped around chanyeol, heading towards his room, but only got halfway there before chanyeol grabbed him by the shoulders, turned him around, and crashed him into a wall. quickly, he attached their lips, resorting to the one thing he thought would work in this moment. “give into yourself, baekhyun-hyung,” he breathed on his lips, “forget your past and just think about now.”

chanyeol’s hands brushed down his arms until he grabbed his wrists, kissing him passionately as he pinned his wrists on either side of his head. this kept baekhyun in one place, kept him underneath chanyeol’s touch and kiss.

hesitantly, he tried it—he kissed him back.

he felt chanyeol smirk against his lips— _cocky bastard_ —and they kissed for a moment, slowing down to baekhyun’s unsure pace. it wasn’t long until baekhyun twisted his head to the side, breaking their lips apart, eyes staying closed. “i can’t,” his voice cracked. “you need to go.”

so, after a few beats of registration, chanyeol backed up, and let him go. baekhyun let his hands fall easily back to his sides, and kept his eyes closed until he heard the door close. he fell to the ground immediately, head hitting back against the wall.

he wasn’t supposed to feel heartbreak like this. it wasn’t supposed to feel this painful to let him go.

chanyeol had finally given up on him.

———

_ (A/N: start playlist #2 now!) _

**december 13, 11pm.**

baekhyun didn’t go to work that day; instead, he laid in bed, curled up in his blanket, and tried desperately to make chanyeol leave his mind.

———

**august 29, 8pm.**

“...i didn’t have many friends growing up, i just mainly focused on my studies. my family was close enough to me to fill the void friends would usually occupy. i went to college on an almost full ride, and eventually came out of it with a diploma to start my nursing career and a few friends that i knew would fade away eventually. but that was okay with me. i didn’t need friends—all i really worried about was finding who i was meant to be with, and staying with him. getting married, having kids. but i knew that i’d meet him along the way.” chanyeol had paused, and baekhyun remembers the eye contact they had made. “fate usually works like that. and i trust it fully.”

when he urged baekhyun to share his story, baekhyun shrugged. “i’ll tell you when i know i can trust you.”

“do you think you’ll ever get there?”

he had looked away. “i don’t know.”

———

**september 10, 7pm.**

“so fate, huh?”

chanyeol chuckled, shoving his hands in his jean pockets. “that, destiny, soulmates, love at first sight. i think it’s all real.”

“you think everything is already predetermined?”

“yeah. the day we get married, the person we fall in love with, the day we die. i think it’s been mapped out before we’re even born,” he confided, and baekhyun shifted. “what about you?”

“i think heartbreak’s real, but that’s about it. i don’t think some otherworldly being is planning out each of our lives before we even live them,” he paused, and admitted, “i think that’s all kind of stupid, honestly.”

———

**january 23, 4pm.**

a month had passed and baekhyun hadn’t heard chanyeol’s name in weeks. he had, in fact, heard the name of many other men, all leaving his lips in moans in either his bed or theirs.

his life was back to how it was before he met chanyeol. and he was okay with that.

———

**february 27, 1am.**

another month came and went, and now winter was beginning to pull back only faintly, baekhyun wrapped up in a coat and hoodie in an attempt to fend away the wind that whispered to him. he was heading from his car and into his building, quickening his pace a bit.

eventually, he had made it onto the stairs and had made his way up to the 3rd floor, freezing in his spot at the top of the staircase.

chanyeol was sat in front of his door.

baekhyun took a few hesitant steps forward, and called out, his voice shaky, “chanyeol?”

the boy immediately scrambled to his feet, and baekhyun made his way over. “hi, i, uh—“ chanyeol tried, but baekhyun spoke over him.

“what are you doing here?” he asked, eyebrows together, and chanyeol pulled on his own ear shyly.

“your door was locked,” he explained, and baekhyun’s mind went, _not exactly what i meant, but okay._

baekhyun unlocked and opened his door, walking inside and leaving it wide behind him. he took off his shoes and hung up his coat, and when chanyeol just stood and stared, he huffed. “come inside, idiot.”

sheepishly, the boy shuffled in, closing and locking the door for baekhyun, whose lips turned up. he took his shoes and coat off as well, proceeding to follow the boy into the living room. he sat beside him on the couch, and baekhyun just sat there. watched him.

after a few seconds passing, he went, “are you going to talk, or?”

“yeah, i—“ he started, and then stopped, collecting himself. baekhyun watched him curiously, noticing how he stared at his hands and played with them. “i miss you,” he admitted, his voice breathy. “a lot. i know that you don’t want me, i know that you won’t fall in love with me, but, fuck—baekhyun-hyung, i cant help myself.

“i haven’t stopped thinking about you since that day. it’s been two goddamn months and yet i wake up every morning wishing you were beside me in my bed or in the kitchen making us breakfast. i pass by the club when i’m in the city and on my way to meet friends or go to the store, and it takes everything i have not to go in. i cant even delete your phone number because i know if i do, then i’m officially deleting you from my life. it’s making me miserable. i cant fucking stand not being around you. shit, it’s not my fault i fell in love with you, and i just can’t seem to fall out of love, as much as i try. i just miss you so goddamn much, and i thought maybe, maybe if i get closure, i can get over you. so i need you to give me closure.”

it was quiet, baekhyun staring at him both with a twisted stomach and a shattered heart that he thought was too broken to be destroyed even more. and then, “how do i do that?”

his voice was a whisper, the same decimal as chanyeol. the boy shook his head, and baekhyun noticed how he squeezed his eyes shut. “i don’t know. i really don’t. i’ve never been this in love with someone. i don’t know what to do,” he responded, helplessly, voice shaking in the slightest.

baekhyun wanted to touch him, comfort him in some way, pull him into his chest—but instead he laced his own fingers together, keeping them tucked close to his body. he didn’t want to spur lost hope in chanyeol. “i’m sorry,” was all he could come up with. “i really wish i could fall in love with you, fuck, i really wish i could. i hate seeing you like this.”

“why can’t you?” chanyeol squeaked out, so quiet that baekhyun almost didn’t catch it. but then, chanyeol’s voice grew, and it was obvious he was getting angrier with every word that left his lips. “fuck, baekhyun-hyung, i don’t see why you can’t. you obviously like me, you’re just holding yourself back. i don’t understand.” he then looked up, angling himself to the boy, who cowered slightly under his gaze. “why can’t you fall in love with me? what happened to you, baekhyun-hyung?”

baekhyun’s eyes shook as he stared at the hardness of chanyeol’s eyes and the way his eyebrows knit together. he swallowed.

well, this was as good of a time as any to tell him.

he trusted him.

“there was a guy,” baekhyun breathed after a moments hesitation, losing eye contact, since he knew he’d break down if he held it. “five—fuck, no, it’s been six—six years ago. i fell in love with him, and he reciprocated it just as much. his name was sehun. he was a bit younger than i was, but so mature, you’d think he was a decade older than i was. well, he—what he and i had made me believe in all that dumb shit, love at first sight, fate, soulmates. i caught his eye during one of my shows and fell in love immediately, and so did he.

“i wanted to marry him. i knew i was going to since the day we met. so after two years, i was ready to propose, to take him somewhere where same sex marriage was legal and call him mine. but he—“ baekhyun’s words caught in his throat. fuck, he hadn’t talked about this in so long, the last time he had was a year and a half ago with minhyuk, and it hadn’t left his mouth since. “he left me only a week after i’d bought the ring. told me he thought our love had fizzled out and he wasn’t feeling anything anymore. he said he was exhausted and didn’t want to be tied down, said he hated getting into fights a couple times a week and was frustrated by me staying in the stripper business. i never took much notice to the fights, always thought they were just part of the relationship thing and how to keep it healthy. and he never did like my job, i don’t think we’d ever go a few days without him trying to get me to go to college for something else. that fueled a lot of our fights, honestly.

“but he left. and it fucking destroyed me. so i gave up on falling in love, swore against it, and lost the ability to really feel it very strongly anymore. it kind of made me heartless, i guess.” a bitter laugh escaped his lips, refusing to look at chanyeol. “that’s why i can’t fall in love with you. i want to. fuck, do i. but i don’t want what happened with me and sehun to happen with me and you. i couldn’t stand to go through that again.”

silence finally draped itself over the two like a quilt that was all too itchy and hot, and baekhyun’s insensitive smile left his lips. a few minutes passed before he felt chanyeol grab onto his hand, pulling it from the hold he had on his other, and intertwined their fingers together. “that won’t happen,” chanyeol whispered, his voice promising, and they finally met eyes once more. this time, though, chanyeol noticed, with a slight twinkle in his own eyes, that baekhyun’s eyes had lost their guard and were now staring up at him vulnerably. “i promise. just give me another chance and i’ll show you myself. i’ll make you happy, and i swear i’ll keep making you happy until you get sick of me.”

baekhyun felt his heart rate pick up when chanyeol tucked his nose into his neck, and smiled when he heard chanyeol’s giggle, sure the boy could feel the way his heart was bursting. “just give me some time,” he mumbled, and chanyeol nodded into his neck.

”we’ll go slow. don’t worry.”

———

**april 18, 11pm.**

it was difficult—of course it was. baekhyun wasn’t sure if he enjoyed knowing that he had chanyeol now, and that chanyeol had him, and that they were working their way towards being boyfriends, instead of baekhyun’s original plan of all fun, no harm, no foul. but he supposed he enjoyed the way chanyeol would come up behind him in the club, wrap a protective arm around his waist, and snap at whoever was hitting on him at the time. perhaps he enjoyed when they’d go grocery shopping together, or maybe when chanyeol would leave temporary marks on his skin and claim, “ _mine_.” maybe his favorite part was the uncertainty that he felt at many times of the day, uncertain of what was to happen in the future but intrigued by it nonetheless.

it was a saturday night, so baekhyun’s crowd was big, and he went on like it was every other night, despite chanyeol not being there, having to stay at the hospital late. but baekhyun didn’t really mind much, seeing as he enjoyed feeling independent once and a while—the taken lifestyle wasn’t one that he was very accustomed to, and he loved pretending that he was available for any of the men in his audience. and chanyeol understood and supported that.

tonight, he met a familiar pair of eyes in the audience, and almost lost his footing.

_sehun._

———

**april 19, 12am.**

baekhyun rushed into the dressing room, telling the gentle looking minhyuk in a flurry of words, “sehun is fucking out there!”

minhyuk froze, lowering the mascara wand from his eye, and turned to where baekhyun was standing, all clad in his famous gold stripper outfit, which was just gold glitter and a tight, gold, shimmery pair of panties, along with a few stars under his eyes and more glitter in his hair. minhyuk would’ve laughed if it wasn’t for the panic in his irises. “ex boyfriend, almost fiancé sehun?”

“yes!”

“that dickwad!” minhyuk hissed immediately, getting to his feet and closing the mascara tube, tossing it onto his vanity. “okay, you stay in here, i’ll talk to jiho and make sure he keeps him in place until chanyeol gets here.”

minhyuk began walking past baekhyun and towards the door, but he quickly grabbed his arm, stopping him. “and why would chanyeol be getting here?” baekhyun asked, slowly, and minhyuk looked to him, just as confused.

“you didn’t call him?”

the shake of his head only spurred more confusion in minhyuk, and he explained, “he’s at work. i’m not going to worry him.”

there was a pause, and then, “fine. you stay here and i’ll have jiho beat him up. do you have any special words you want etched into him?”

“minhyuk-ah!” baekhyun huffed, tightening the grip on his arm when the boy tried to escape from it. “i’ve got it, okay? you finish getting ready. it’ll be fine.”

his friend’s eyes shifted uncomfortably, unsure, and advised, “fine, but get dressed. i have a hoodie that you’re putting on too.”

baekhyun laughed and rolled his eyes, but still did as minhyuk wanted, knowing he was probably in the right.

he left the dressing room 5 minutes following, finding his way through the crowds of people with his head down but his eyes up, searching for that familiar face. he didn’t know what he was going to say to him yet, but he needed to talk to him, needed to see what he wanted. there was no reason he’d come here without a solid purpose, baekhyun knew that. he wanted something from him, but what, he didn’t know.

he found sehun at the bar, his own eyes searching the crowded club, and baekhyun safely assumed that he was looking for him as well.

as he came closer, sehun found him, and their eyes locked, causing baekhyun’s blood to rush hotly in his veins, nails digging into his palms as his fists curled up. he made his way over until he stood a few inches away, sehun leaning comfortably against the bar, smiling at the boy. baekhyun didn’t return it. sehun’s smile faltered.

“what are you doing back here?” baekhyun prodded, biting his tongue to fight the venom that wished to surface. he’d give sehun the benefit of the doubt, as much as he didn’t want to.

sehun made a meal out of checking baekhyun out, and when he met his eyes again, baekhyun had crossed his arms over his body to defenselessly shield himself against his eyes. sehun’s lips turned up at the ends, taking notice to this. “i missed you,” he said, getting off of the bar stool to get that much closer to baekhyun, his hand finding its way to the boy’s hip. baekhyun didn’t move.

it felt weird, having someone touch him like that, someone that wasn’t chanyeol. he’d become so accustomed to chanyeol’s long and slender fingers against his body that he’d forgotten the feel of sehun’s. but as he was reminded, he was also reminded of all the times sehun had touched him, his eyes falling closed as he fell victim to it.

“i’ll take that as you missed me too?” sehun murmured, ducking down close enough that baekhyun could hear his soft words, and he kept his eyes shut. “i’ve been thinking about you a lot,” sehun continued on mindlessly, using his free hand to brush the hair that stuck to baekhyun’s forehead away, making him look all the more vulnerable. “thinking about how we ended things,” came sehun’s purr, lips finding their way to baekhyun’s ear, his free hand now settled in the curve of his waist. “i cant believe i told you what i did. i’m still in love with you, always have been.” that last line came quieter, breathy, and baekhyun’s heartbeat picked up, eyebrows creasing as he shut his eyes tighter closed, scared to open them and give into sehun. _this isn’t what he wanted. this isn’t—_

_or maybe it is?_

his lips parted as he relaxed, eyes fluttering open, immediately meeting sehun’s. their foreheads pressed together, noses brushing just faintly, and he kept his eyes open as sehun’s own closed, feeling the boy leaning closer.

he lost himself in sehun, lost everything he’s been working towards, lost chanyeol—

_chanyeol._

the brush of sehun’s lips against his and the thought of his almost-boyfriend’s name ringing through his head was enough to bring him back to reality, and quickly, he shoved sehun back. he stepped back a few times as well to create even more distance between them, and stared with wide eyes at sehun, hands still out. “baek?” he said, voice confused—he’d never used honorifics with baekhyun, and it never bothered him truly until now. baekhyun shook his head so fast, he was shocked he didn’t give himself whiplash, and felt his muscles tightening up.

“i... i can’t,” he said, voice wavering, but he swallowed and stood his ground, putting his head on straight as he stared down sehun. his hands returned to his sides, but he kept his distance. “i’m seeing someone. we’re done, sehun,” he told him, eyes hard, putting sehun in a lost state. “we’ve been done since that night you broke my heart. and you don’t have any right to come back here years later and expect that it’s still yours.” he lifted his chin up a bit, his insides warm, shoulders relaxing. “go home, sehun. and don’t you dare come back here again.”

he turned around and left proudly, a little sway in his hips, heading back to his dressing room.

he’d done it. finally. he’d told off sehun, something he’d wanted to do since the day they broke up, the day that he just stood there and cried as sehun walked out the door.

and now, he was the one walking out the door as sehun stood there with his own broken heart.

———

**april 19, 2am.**

baekhyun was home, walking around in a sweater and boxers, working on a cup of green tea and honey to drink with a movie when a knock came to his door. he stopped for a second, wondering who could be at his door this late, or rather, early, but set down the honey before making his way from the kitchen.

he opened the door to an exhausted chanyeol, bags under his eyes darker than baekhyun had ever seen, dress shirt and pants lazily hanging on his body, making baekhyun giggle out unwillingly. when he surveyed chanyeol’s face truly, he found fondness not only in his eyes but also on his lips, looking relaxed and happy. his hair was pretty messy, to say the least, and baekhyun took a step back, letting him inside. chanyeol did so gratefully, setting down his briefcase on a counter in the kitchen. when baekhyun turned around after locking the door once again, chanyeol was standing there, watching him. baekhyun couldn’t help the way his heart beat in his chest.

“come here,” came chanyeol’s soft words, and baekhyun found his feet moving before he even had to tell them to. soon enough, though, he was in front of chanyeol, and hummed when he felt chanyeol wrap his arms tightly around his waist. he couldn’t fight the smile that showed on his lips as he wrapped his own arms around chanyeol’s shoulders, shivering when he felt the boy’s lips graze his neck.

they stood there for a while, just enjoying the overwhelming feeling of each other, chanyeol’s fingers having hiked baekhyun’s sweater up enough to let him trace the skin there. baekhyun had his face buried in chanyeol’s neck, breathing quick and fast against him as the feeling of his fingers mixed with the feeling of his lips against baekhyun’s neck. he felt chanyeol smile into his skin, and he kissed up to the boy’s ear, taking his lobe between his teeth and tugging on it. baekhyun bit his lip to stop the whimper that wished to escape, but a bit of it still managed its way out. chanyeol chuckled into his ear.

“can i go take a shower?” he murmured, and baekhyun nodded numbly, making chanyeol chuckle once more. he gave baekhyun’s hips one last squeeze before he started walking towards the bathroom, giving baekhyun a few seconds to collect himself.

the boy quickly turned to chanyeol before he walked into the bathroom, and asked, “are you hungry?”

chanyeol paused and thought for a second, facing baekhyun with a smile before answering, “yeah, actually. i haven’t eaten since noon, i think.” he chuckled, and baekhyun nodded, shooing him away with a gesture, and chanyeol left into the bathroom.

it wasn’t long before baekhyun heard the shower turn on, and he went to making them something to eat.

———

**april 19, 3am.**

baekhyun’s legs were across chanyeol’s lap as they watched _(500) days of summer,_ plates full of chicken stir fry in their hands. chanyeol was dressed in a shirt that was big on baekhyun (but managed to fit him perfectly) and his boxers, a fuzzy pink blanket draped over the both of them. they were quiet, peaceful, finishing their food halfway through the movie and setting their plates on the coffee table. they made their way closer to one another as the movie went on, baekhyun keeping his legs across chanyeol’s lap, but now had himself tucked into his shoulder, chanyeol’s arm around his waist. they were a cozy bundle, causing baekhyun’s lips to pull up happily.

the movie had just ended and baekhyun was now in a rant about how amazing and beautiful it was, passionate about it since it truly showed how he was, since it was basically a movie from his own point of view with a few minor changes in the plot line. he was going on and on, his hands expressing all the emotion that his lips couldn’t, only stopping when chanyeol crashed their lips together.

he froze, this being the first time they had kissed since their big fight so long ago, and chanyeol pulled away only a few seconds later, shyly shifting his eyes and mumbling, “i’m sorry, i couldn’t help myself.”

“no, no,” baekhyun whispered, hands coming up to hold chanyeol’s cheeks in his palms, pulling his attention back to baekhyun’s eyes. “do it again.”

chanyeol smiled, a smile that could light up the dark world around them, a smile that effectively made baekhyun’s heart pick up. it wasn’t long until their lips met again, and the kiss was warm, soft, slow—a kiss that made baekhyun forget all of his previous doubts, that relaxed his body to the core. chanyeol’s hands fell to baekhyun’s lower back, pulling him impossibly closer, and baekhyun deepened the kiss until it was so utterly passionate and vibrant that his blood pumped hotly in all the right ways.

chanyeol pulled back to breathe against his lips, “i’m so happy i found you.”

baekhyun smiled, a smile that he couldn’t hold since he was so lost in chanyeol, and he shakily responded, “i’m so happy you fought for me.”

a chuckle vibrated on baekhyun’s lips, and his smile returned, hearing a faint, “me too,” before chanyeol was kissing him again.

———

**april 21, 11am.**

baekhyun told chanyeol about his run in with sehun, sitting on chanyeol’s kitchen counter as the boy was making them coffee before he had to leave for work; he had the afternoon and evening shift and managed to convince baekhyun to come over before it.

“sehun showed up at the club the other day,” he confided into silence, not able to rid the thought from his mind as he watched chanyeol pour milk into their coffee. he stopped when he heard those words, and turned to watch baekhyun as he set the milk down. “it was that night you had to work really late. he showed up.”

“did you talk to him? what did he want?” chanyeol questioned, forgetting about the coffee and stepping up to baekhyun. he fit just between his knees, only a few centimeters shorter than the boy.

baekhyun lost their eye contact, and mumbled, “yeah, he—well. he told me he was still in love with me.” he stopped, looking down at his hands, refusing to see chanyeol’s face. “he was touching me, and he—i almost let him kiss me, and then i remembered what he did, and how i have you, and—“ he swallowed, feeling cold in his confession. “i told him off, said i have you now and that he lost me when he left me. and i walked away. but, fuck, chanyeol, i feel so bad. i almost kissed him, i’m sorry—“

chanyeol lifting his eyes up with a finger under his chin brought him back to reality, thumb brushing over his scar, chanyeol’s eyes meeting glazed over ones. “you didn’t, though,” he murmured. “you told him no. you were so strong, baekhyun, and that’s what matters.” his voice was so soft, so comforting, and baekhyun got lost in it, collapsing forward so his forehead fell on chanyeol’s shoulder. hands then flattened themselves on baekhyun’s thighs, chanyeol soothingly digging the pads of his fingers into his jeans.

baekhyun weakly grabbed onto his shirt collar, feeling chanyeol kiss his shoulder gently. “i don’t deserve you,”  
came his whisper, and chanyeol chuckled, turning and nosing baekhyun’s hair until he pulled his head back, baekhyun’s arms now wrapped loosely around his neck.

“let me kiss you,” chanyeol mumbled, and baekhyun smiled gently, nodding faintly to give chanyeol the okay.

so he kissed him, and baekhyun melted into it. his right hand tangled into chanyeol’s hair, effectively messing it up despite the fact that he’d just styled it. chanyeol didn’t seem to care much, though, just sliding his hands up his thighs and grabbing onto his hips. he pulled baekhyun forward so he was just barely on the counter anymore, mainly being held up by chanyeol’s body. it didn’t take long for their kiss to heat up, and as much as baekhyun was hoping to be picked up and whisked off to bed, chanyeol instead pushed him back just enough that he was secure on the counter once more. he detached their lips, kissing baekhyun’s cheek before telling him, “i have to go to work, babe.”

he earned a whine in return, a pout gracing baekhyun’s lips, and chanyeol surveyed his features with a loud laugh. baekhyun smiled, but still complained, “i don’t want you to go.”

“well,” chanyeol grinned, and baekhyun knew he was endlessly happy because he was the one who got baekhyun like this, got him to fall in love. he was practically glowing. “i have to. plus, you’ve gotta shave these legs of yours,” he teased as he ran a hand up baekhyun’s exposed calf—he’d been wearing shorts due to the spring warmth.

baekhyun shouted at him and kicked his side, making chanyeol burst into bubbly laughter and shy away. “you’re mean!” baekhyun huffed, “go to work, i’ll stay here and trash the place.” he got off the counter and headed away, chanyeol rushing after him and grabbing him from behind, long arms wrapping around his waist and pulling him into his chest.

“baekhyunnie, don’t be mad at me,” chanyeol pouted in his ear, digging his nose in baekhyun’s shoulder, who sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. chanyeol had dropped the ‘hyung’s not too long ago, and baekhyun couldn’t really say he minded it. since they were together, it was kind of odd for chanyeol to basically call him ‘older brother’. but that didn’t mean he— “c’mon, _oppa_.” he stretched out ‘oppa’ and baekhyun’s cheeks flamed.

“go to work, you big doof,” baekhyun mumbled, and chanyeol chuckled, kissing his neck.

he released him and went to grab his briefcase and coffee, teasing with a skip in his step, “you _love_ me~”

baekhyun bit his lip, watching his back as he walked away, and felt his heart do a thing in his chest that made him feel uneasy. _yeah. maybe i do._

———

**may 17, 8pm.**

they were sitting at dinner together on a night that chanyeol worked early and baekhyun didn’t at all, which was one that rarely came about. the pairing were at some japanese restaurant, still waiting for their food to come out, just talking lightly.

“you know, i don’t know anything about your childhood,” chanyeol realized at a break in their conversation, and baekhyun’s eyes fleeted away, trying to avoid both chanyeol’s eyes and that conversation. “hey, if you don’t want to tell me—“ chanyeol squeezed baekhyun’s hand that he held under the table, “—then you don’t have to. i just... i want to know sometime. but take all the time you need, baek-ah.”

baekhyun fought with himself for a few seconds, before eventually, “i’ll just tell you now,” was flooding from his lips. he refused eye contact still, instead glancing around a bit to ensure no one was watching him or overhearing. when he found his coast was clear, he began, “i didn’t really have the best time growing up. my parents took a liking to my older brother, so things for me were always difficult. but, i—well, i didn’t realize my father was abusive until i was 13 and went over a friends house. i saw how their dad was, watched him kiss his wife’s head and smile at his son as he told him to remember to do his schoolwork. that was a lot different than my own dad—i always thought how he acted was normal, since that was all i knew up until then.

“when i was 16, i talked back to him, and that’s—“ he stopped, reaching his free hand up to touch the scar on his jaw, chanyeol watching as his fingers shook. “that’s how i got this. he hit me.”

baekhyun blinked a few times to rid the tears from his eyes, swallowing. chanyeol stayed quiet, waiting for him to finish his story. “he kicked me out the day after my graduation. for my older brother, they had sent them out to college safely, but for me, they just sent me out on the street with a bag of my things. i haven’t seen them since that day. they might be dead, for all i know. i can’t really find it in myself to care much.

“that’s how i got into the stripping business. i started as a bus boy and cleaner, i’d collect and wash dishes and then clean the club after it closed. eventually, the boss came to me and asked me to be a stripper, and well, now i’m here.” he couldn’t even find it in himself to laugh heartlessly, instead, he just met chanyeol’s eyes, eyes that filled to the brim with both pity and sorrow.

“baekhyun-ah,” he breathed, now holding his hand under the table in his own two, “i’m sorry, fuck, i’m so so sorry—”

“it’s okay,” baekhyun chuckled through the wetness in his throat. “don’t be sorry. i’ve already got enough of that from myself.”

chanyeol’s shoulders fell, defeated, and squeezed baekhyun’s hand. “...alright. but please know that i’m always here for you—i will never not be here for you. i care about you so much, and i promise you’ll never have to go through pain like that again.”

a smile drew itself on baekhyun’s lips. he’d heard words of sympathy like those in the past, but since they were falling from chanyeol’s mouth, they had all the more meaning, all the more impact. “i don’t deserve you,” baekhyun found himself repeating.

———

**june 18, 3am.**

“i think i’m in love with him.”

baekhyun had admitted this to minhyuk at one of their sleepovers, the smell of weed heavy in the air as they laid in a very terribly built pillow fort. they both were staring up at the blanket that hung over their heads, on their backs beside each other. minhyuk hummed. “i _know_ you’re in love with him, baek-hyung.”

the older boy turned his head to the side, watching minhyuk—who had a stupid grin on his face. “really?” he murmured, and minhyuk’s smile grew as he nodded.

“i knew you’d fall in love with him since the day i met him. there’s always been something there,” minhyuk told him, turning his head to baekhyun finally, meeting his eyes. “don’t you remember that? you told me nothing was going to happen, and yet, here we are.” he laughed, and baekhyun couldn’t help giggling with him. “you’ve known him for almost a year, baekhyunnie-hyung. and i’m pretty sure you’ve known since the first day you met him that you’d fall in love.”

———

**june 21, 2am.**

another day of exhausting work for both of the boys lead them to laying together in chanyeol’s couch, chanyeol hovering over baekhyun as he peppered his neck in kisses of all different shapes and sizes. baekhyun was whimpering faintly beneath him as chanyeol managed to find a particular spot he enjoyed, beginning to suck on his skin, fingers tracing over his waist and stomach after having pushed his shirt up. baekhyun’s arms that wrapped around his neck began to tighten a bit, pulling him even closer than he already was.

“chanyeol-ah,” baekhyun gasped, tugging on his hair, “want you to kiss me.”

chanyeol chuckled into his neck, but he pulled back and kissed him nonetheless, the kiss overflowing with too much tongue and bites to each other’s lips. passion and heat overtook the both of them as they kissed, baekhyun’s nails digging into chanyeol’s scalp, every action he made filled with want. chanyeol softly moaned into his mouth, and pulled back to mumble, “needy today, aren’t we, kitten?”

baekhyun whimpered beneath him, and chanyeol answered by connecting their lips once more, but only for a few moments before he moved onto his neck once again. he laid kisses there, only stopping to sit up and pull his shirt off. baekhyun took this as an opportunity to sit up and take his off as well, and after he had, was immediately pushed back down into the couch by a cocky dominant. it wasn’t long until chanyeol’s lips were back on his neck, and this time, baekhyun couldn’t help himself and  blubbered out,

“fuck, chanyeol-ah, i love you.”

chanyeol and him both froze as soon as the words had left his mouth, and chanyeol was pulling back, looking down at a shocked baekhyun. they stayed there for a few seconds, just staring at each other, startled, and then, “you love me?”

the shock left baekhyun’s features as his chest fell, and a slight smile tugged at his lips. he felt relieved now that it was out there, realizing now that there was nothing to be afraid of. “yeah,” he breathed, searching chanyeol’s eyes, who smiled bigger than baekhyun had ever seen.

he laughed out loud as chanyeol left kisses all over his face, like a damn overly enthusiastic dog or something, and as he got to baekhyun’s lips, baekhyun could still feel him smiling. “i love you too, baekhyunnie,” he murmured, and kissed him again, a kiss that was both the same and different as the one they shared only a few minutes ago.

a kiss that really put those words into play.

it took baekhyun 347 days to finally admit he was in love, and he couldn’t wait to see what the rest of their days together would hold.

**Author's Note:**

> please leave feedback and let me know how you felt about this :):) comments and kudos are both very much appreciated!! thank you all for reading!!


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